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Kun boshlanadi.
Mamnunsan, universitetda oqiyman deb kerilib qo'yasan o'zingga-o'zing, darsga istar-istamas borib kelasan, xayolingda dars tezroq tugasaydiyu, chiqsang. Qaytib kelasan. Uxlaysan, boshqa nima ham qilarding? Kechroq uyg'onasan, qorin och. Muammo yo'q, ovqatlanasan.Yana endi xayolingda boshqa-boshqa narsalar. Nogahon uydan videoqo'ng'iroq bo'ladi. Anchadan beri telefon qilmaganing aynan shundagina esingga keladi. Ota-onang bilan gaplashasan, seni juda sog'inishgan. U yerlarda ham kech tushib bo'lgan, lekin ular dam olishmayapti, nimadir ishlar qilib yurishibdi. Onangni ko'zlarida horg'inlikni ko'rasan. Sen aytolmaysan nega ko'zlaringiz ma'yus deb, ular so'rashadi. Odatda hech narsaga e'tibor qilmaydigan ko'zlaring endi ochiladi, shunda bo'g'zingga nimadir tiqiladi, yig'laging keladi, yig'lolmaysan! Otang ham nariroqda turgan, seni juda sog'ingan bo'ladi. Lekin u o'zini ko'rsatishni istamaydi, uzoqdan turib gaplashadi. Ha, o'zining charchoq to'la ko'zlarini ko'rsatishni istamaydi aslida.
Sen tugatmoqchi emassan, lekin yig'lab yubormaslik uchun, seni bu holatingni ko'rib yuraklari tilinmasligi uchun gapni tezroq tugatasan. Endi o'ylay boshlaysan, hozir o'qib ko'zlaring tolmaydigan, ishlab charchamaydigan, ovqat yeb to'ymaydigan yoshdasan. Hayotimni nimaga sarflayapman o'zi degan savol hozirgidan ham ko'proq seni qiynay boshlaydi. Endi harakat qilasan, bir paytlar otangga bergan va'dang esingga keladi. Anchadan beri buni ham eslamaganingni sezasan. O'zingdan-o'zing xafa bo'lib ketasan.
Ha, bugundan boshlaysan, shu va'da ustidan chiqish uchun o'lib-tirilasan. Va bir kun kelib albatta buni ustidan chiqasan. Irodali bo'l..

@infiniteCalculus
18.09.2021. 23:11

#ɪɴsɪɢʜᴛs
#
Kun boshlanadi.
Mamnunsan, universitetda oqiyman deb kerilib qo'yasan o'zingga-o'zing, darsga istar-istamas borib kelasan, xayolingda dars tezroq tugasaydiyu, chiqsang. Qaytib kelasan. Uxlaysan, boshqa nima ham qilarding? Kechroq uyg'onasan, qorin och. Muammo yo'q, ovqatlanasan.Yana endi xayolingda boshqa-boshqa narsalar. Nogahon uydan videoqo'ng'iroq bo'ladi. Anchadan beri telefon qilmaganing aynan shundagina esingga keladi. Ota-onang bilan gaplashasan, seni juda sog'inishgan. U yerlarda ham kech tushib bo'lgan, lekin ular dam olishmayapti, nimadir ishlar qilib yurishibdi. Onangni ko'zlarida horg'inlikni ko'rasan. Sen aytolmaysan nega ko'zlaringiz ma'yus deb, ular so'rashadi. Odatda hech narsaga e'tibor qilmaydigan ko'zlaring endi ochiladi, shunda bo'g'zingga nimadir tiqiladi, yig'laging keladi, yig'lolmaysan! Otang ham nariroqda turgan, seni juda sog'ingan bo'ladi. Lekin u o'zini ko'rsatishni istamaydi, uzoqdan turib gaplashadi. Ha, o'zining charchoq to'la ko'zlarini ko'rsatishni istamaydi aslida.
Sen tugatmoqchi emassan, lekin yig'lab yubormaslik uchun, seni bu holatingni ko'rib yuraklari tilinmasligi uchun gapni tezroq tugatasan. Endi o'ylay boshlaysan, hozir o'qib ko'zlaring tolmaydigan, ishlab charchamaydigan, ovqat yeb to'ymaydigan yoshdasan. Hayotimni nimaga sarflayapman o'zi degan savol hozirgidan ham ko'proq seni qiynay boshlaydi. Endi harakat qilasan, bir paytlar otangga bergan va'dang esingga keladi. Anchadan beri buni ham eslamaganingni sezasan. O'zingdan-o'zing xafa bo'lib ketasan.
Ha, bugundan boshlaysan, shu va'da ustidan chiqish uchun o'lib-tirilasan. Va bir kun kelib albatta buni ustidan chiqasan. Irodali bo'l..

@infiniteCalculus
18.09.2021. 23:11
hottg.com/sunshine_Notes/273
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