Our idea of love is so fucked up lately that if authors like Jane Austen came back to life and saw this bullshit, they would have burned themselves alive along with their romantic pages that were so painfully beautiful. Y'all fall in love so often, so shallow, so tragically. You think you're in love because you saw a woman in your thoughts, in the middle of the night, at your most confrontational hour when your life's ghosts dance around to haunt you. At the most ugliest moment of your day when your mind is desperately looking for a beauty to mask what you've been hiding. So she appears to be the most beautiful part of your existence. So you convince yourself that you have never felt like this for anyone. No one from your long list of women in ur days, no warmth from the girl you we making mediocre love to that same afternoon comes to your mind.
Then how dare she?. How dare she is not there with you? How dare she hasn't fallen for your half hearted attention and river of words. How dare she refuse to be objectified as your achievement so that you can feel good about yourself at your weakest moment.
How dare she is happy with someone else instead of being miserable with you. How weak are you that you couldn't convince her that you're a good man. How much of a fool are you that you couldn't manipulate yourself into her lifev?. To hell with her, she has broken your heart. You're the true victim.
And then you recover in the morning, you see that woman whom you have been friends with hopping someday you will achieve your true intensions.
You once sat there listening to her cry and break. You saw her at her weakest days and you were a gentleman enough not to take advantage. Then you think to yourself, this must be love. Your brain again tells you that you're owed love in return for your act of basic descent human conduct. So how dare she falls in love with another man once she's not crying anymore?
Let's stone her to death because this one broke your heart too, she lead you on and gave u expectations (you did not make up any in ur head at all).
The next day you see another gorgeous one, you're already convinced she is the one, so why not try everything in your power to make her yours. Your mind keeps reminding you your one sided rules
1, if she is friendly, you won't have to try that much.
2, if she doesn't talk to you, she just wants you to try harder.
3. If she tries to have a meaningful conversation, she's leading you on.
Whatever scenario that might end up happening, remember, you're in love, and you're the hero. But gaddamn it has been few weeks and she's not on her knees for you yet. To hell with her for seeing through your empty promises and an even emptier heart.this heart break is going to wake you up at midnight again, and your mind starts to wonder where it all went wrong. But it will never reveal the truth, it's just going to come up with another pretty cover and your nightmare begins all over again.
If Jane Austin were about to write a new novel, she would describe this not as love, but as the illumination of your unfulfilled life from the mirror of your frustrated mind. But who am i to talk.
© Gonegirl
@LonelyDude
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