Channel: Lost in my mind
6. Over-functioning: Over-functioning comes from desperation. It's the overworking you do to prove your worth. In this crazy hoop-jumping attitude that causes you to end up doing things you don't want to do because you are too afraid of being judged for not doing it. When others sense you are desperate to prove yourself they lose respect for you. Relax and do your part but let others carry their own weight. You cannot climb Mount Everest on your own.
Say no without feeling guilty. There is no need to do or participate in anything that you do not want to or believe in. Your "nos" define your likes and dislikes which make you distinct as a person to other people. This way people know where you stop and they start. If people do not know these boundaries you will get pushed over.
Say no without feeling guilty. There is no need to do or participate in anything that you do not want to or believe in. Your "nos" define your likes and dislikes which make you distinct as a person to other people. This way people know where you stop and they start. If people do not know these boundaries you will get pushed over.
How many times have other people pushed your buttons? Stepped over the line and you just let it slide???
7. Withholding: Whenever you fail to express your true thoughts and opinions, like when you interact with someone who was clearly offensive to you, you cannot become a person who is seen as having value, causing you to get looked-over. Never withhold your truth.
To be successful you have to realize that conflict is a part of it. Learn to be bold and state your opinions. You have the right to express your opinions. If you cower in a situation or are afraid someone will reject your opinion, there is no way for anyone to really know you or your preferences. Do not look for agreement. Simply state what opinion is correct for you.
To be successful you have to realize that conflict is a part of it. Learn to be bold and state your opinions. You have the right to express your opinions. If you cower in a situation or are afraid someone will reject your opinion, there is no way for anyone to really know you or your preferences. Do not look for agreement. Simply state what opinion is correct for you.
8. Uncertainty: People pleasers have a habit of asking permission in situations where needing permission is not required. This is often done as attempt to look polite and respectful to others. Unfortunately, you end up looking unintelligent and mousey, as if you cannot even make the simplest decisions on your own.
Let this simmer. Hope it helped. Next topic Respecting yourself, others and of course demanding it ✌🏼
- R
@lostinmymind14
- R
@lostinmymind14
Conformity is the act of changing your behaviors in order to fit in or go along with the people around you. In some cases, this social influence might involve agreeing with or acting like the majority of people in a specific group, or it might involve behaving in a particular way in order to be perceived as "normal" by the group. It is often used to indicate an agreement to the majority position, brought about either by a desire to ‘fit in’ or be liked (normative) or because of a desire to be correct (informational), or simply to conform to a social role (identification).
The dictionary definition of normality is the opposite of deviant, eccentric and unusual behaviour but “normalcy” differs from person to person, but I think the general meaning is “to be like everyone else.” Anything or anyone that doesn’t fit their views are thought of as “abnormal”. The dictionary also defines Conformity as a " behaviour in accordance with socially accepted conventions" another is "compliance with standards, rules, or laws"
Psychology uses the term “norm” to refer to a general beliefs, expectations and standards of behaviour shared by members of a group or culture. Some of these expectations are formal and explicit, but most are informal and do not have to be followed. Some norms cover appropriate behaviour in different roles and situations. Not following these “norms” often result in sanctions or exclusion from the group or culture. For some people, being “normal” is a huge part of their identity as a person.
One must wonder then, I know I do. How, when and why people tend to get caught up in societal norms. Well, the general answer is that we are often born into them, or we pick them up as we become more aware of what our peers think of us. This is particularly prominent in adolescence, which is a time of great emotional upheaval.
Everyone is susceptible to peer pressure teenagers more than most and will often conform to what others view as “normal”. This is known as conformity, also referred to as majority influence. In psychology, it is a form of social in fluence (when a person changes when in the presence of one’s friends). In most cases of teenage normative influence, one would conform in order to belong, to be liked or to be approved of by one’s peers. Though the context is a bit different, the same train of thought can be applied to the idea of conformity; societal norms cannot influence you unless you allow them to.
Which actually leads me to the “Asch effect”, named after Soloman Asch, who was known for conducting experiments that demonstrated how individuals could be pressured into conforming to a group’s standard. Asch found that when a majority expresses a certain opinion, individuals will go against their own judgments and agree with the majority, though he later found that under certain circumstances the need to conform is negated. Such as the presence of another individual who expresses an opinion that is in agreement with their viewpoint and conflicts with the majority.
The dictionary definition of normality is the opposite of deviant, eccentric and unusual behaviour but “normalcy” differs from person to person, but I think the general meaning is “to be like everyone else.” Anything or anyone that doesn’t fit their views are thought of as “abnormal”. The dictionary also defines Conformity as a " behaviour in accordance with socially accepted conventions" another is "compliance with standards, rules, or laws"
Psychology uses the term “norm” to refer to a general beliefs, expectations and standards of behaviour shared by members of a group or culture. Some of these expectations are formal and explicit, but most are informal and do not have to be followed. Some norms cover appropriate behaviour in different roles and situations. Not following these “norms” often result in sanctions or exclusion from the group or culture. For some people, being “normal” is a huge part of their identity as a person.
One must wonder then, I know I do. How, when and why people tend to get caught up in societal norms. Well, the general answer is that we are often born into them, or we pick them up as we become more aware of what our peers think of us. This is particularly prominent in adolescence, which is a time of great emotional upheaval.
Everyone is susceptible to peer pressure teenagers more than most and will often conform to what others view as “normal”. This is known as conformity, also referred to as majority influence. In psychology, it is a form of social in fluence (when a person changes when in the presence of one’s friends). In most cases of teenage normative influence, one would conform in order to belong, to be liked or to be approved of by one’s peers. Though the context is a bit different, the same train of thought can be applied to the idea of conformity; societal norms cannot influence you unless you allow them to.
Which actually leads me to the “Asch effect”, named after Soloman Asch, who was known for conducting experiments that demonstrated how individuals could be pressured into conforming to a group’s standard. Asch found that when a majority expresses a certain opinion, individuals will go against their own judgments and agree with the majority, though he later found that under certain circumstances the need to conform is negated. Such as the presence of another individual who expresses an opinion that is in agreement with their viewpoint and conflicts with the majority.
We have all probably heard people say cancel and remove toxic people from your lives, they are no good. They don't add they substract. It's true they do and cutting them out might actually be one path to achieve independence from the dark shadow they cast on you, but how about another perspective to it all. Have you ever considered keeping them in your lives? Keep them in your lives but learn to utilize them.
Before anything else though I would like to clear up that there is a huge universe of difference between toxic and negative people. All toxic people are negative but all negative people aren't toxic. Both have underlying difficulties in their lives. The way they internalize their issues is what actually gives them the variations. Negative people internalize the issues within their minds and are pessimism about the world and how it works but don't actively give out the energy to others to push or pull them down. Their coping mechanism is of course sadness and in severe cases depression. In the case of toxic people their coping mechanisms stems with giving people a piece of their reality and issues. The sufferings and unhappiness of others around them gives them the sense of "Im okay" since others feel the same way. The act of draining someone's energy ( refers to happiness, joy, confidence...) replenishes their.
Negative people may be more about vulnerability and less about vice. The label of "bad" and interchangeable use with toxic seems unfair if there is an underlying frailty. Toxic people are very infectious, they often use words to create relevant impact in their victims mind. They are often aware of their actions and impacts. Speaking from personal experience they exhibit this characters
1. The most dominant characteristic they have in common is that they leave the people they interact with, whether that be family members or friends sometimes even complete strangers, romantic partners constantly doubting themselves. They are energy vampires who suck all positivity out of you, transform it into negative energy and return it to you.
2. They often tend to be the loudest people in the environment you are in.
3. Are often passive aggressive in everything they do.
4. Can’t take no for an answer, and they lack the ability to admit they are wrong.
5. Inflated ego and easily getting offended. Individuals with an inflated ego and who easily get offended may not be able to empathize with others and are often unable to sustain relationships.
6. Because they are so insecure and have a low self-worth, they feel the need to put others down, so they can feel better about themselves and be seen as better by others. Many toxic people will go an extremely long way to reach this. An example of this would be if someone constantly belittles you and tries everything in their power to make you look bad.
7. They are too egoistic and never consider other peoples’ feelings.
8. Playing the victim all the damn time.
9. Vanish in time of need on purpose and come back to pity in a way of laughing at you for your seemingly miserable situation.
10.They are too judgmental. Toxic people often criticize and judge every person they come across by always pointing out their flaws, and they give the impression that nobody is good enough for them because they have a negative attitude towards new people and an inflated sense of self-worth without having something to back this up. They see themselves as far superior to others and everything revolves around what they like and don’t like.
Negative people may be more about vulnerability and less about vice. The label of "bad" and interchangeable use with toxic seems unfair if there is an underlying frailty. Toxic people are very infectious, they often use words to create relevant impact in their victims mind. They are often aware of their actions and impacts. Speaking from personal experience they exhibit this characters
1. The most dominant characteristic they have in common is that they leave the people they interact with, whether that be family members or friends sometimes even complete strangers, romantic partners constantly doubting themselves. They are energy vampires who suck all positivity out of you, transform it into negative energy and return it to you.
2. They often tend to be the loudest people in the environment you are in.
3. Are often passive aggressive in everything they do.
4. Can’t take no for an answer, and they lack the ability to admit they are wrong.
5. Inflated ego and easily getting offended. Individuals with an inflated ego and who easily get offended may not be able to empathize with others and are often unable to sustain relationships.
6. Because they are so insecure and have a low self-worth, they feel the need to put others down, so they can feel better about themselves and be seen as better by others. Many toxic people will go an extremely long way to reach this. An example of this would be if someone constantly belittles you and tries everything in their power to make you look bad.
7. They are too egoistic and never consider other peoples’ feelings.
8. Playing the victim all the damn time.
9. Vanish in time of need on purpose and come back to pity in a way of laughing at you for your seemingly miserable situation.
10.They are too judgmental. Toxic people often criticize and judge every person they come across by always pointing out their flaws, and they give the impression that nobody is good enough for them because they have a negative attitude towards new people and an inflated sense of self-worth without having something to back this up. They see themselves as far superior to others and everything revolves around what they like and don’t like.
So that we have cleared up what is deemed as toxic, the idea of utilization.
I know, I know sounds very dark and dreadful. But keep an open mind and consider it. Manipulation and utilizing are words that have been given bad light through out the years. They are words often associated with a so called "Bad, evil person". But trust me when i say there is no such thing, at least in this case. Lets generalize this for a moment and talk about people in general. We are all users, manipulators some more than others. If we have the ability or the upper ground to show force and power over someone we will, the extent to which well that varies. Its inevitable and unavoidable unless your like a monk or sth.... maybe even then😁 Reminds me of the argument of Is there such a thing as a true selfless deed?
I know, I know sounds very dark and dreadful. But keep an open mind and consider it. Manipulation and utilizing are words that have been given bad light through out the years. They are words often associated with a so called "Bad, evil person". But trust me when i say there is no such thing, at least in this case. Lets generalize this for a moment and talk about people in general. We are all users, manipulators some more than others. If we have the ability or the upper ground to show force and power over someone we will, the extent to which well that varies. Its inevitable and unavoidable unless your like a monk or sth.... maybe even then😁 Reminds me of the argument of Is there such a thing as a true selfless deed?
Any who, this might not be for the faint hearted but again it is something to surely consider. Whenever meditate of exploiting a bad situation ( occurrence, event or a person) that happened or is actively happening to me, one book always comes to mind (Use with caution, like I said not for the faint hearted) 48 laws of power by Robert Greene comes to mind. I wont go into the details of what it is and stuff, I'll leave that up to you but generally speaking its about power and how to never be a victim. Use this laws to actually deal with difficult people or situations ( they are more general) but you can configure them to your liking.
I may or may not elaborate further on them. ENJOY!!!
Law 2. Never Put Too Much Trust in Friends, Learn How to Use Enemies
Friends are more likely to betray you in haste as they are more prone to envy. However, if you hire a former enemy, they will prove themselves more trustworthy, as they have more to prove. Consequently, you have more to fear from friends than your enemies.
Often, you think you know your friends better than you do. This is because honesty rarely strengthens bonds, so friends frequently hide their true feelings about each other. As people want to feel they deserved their good fortune in hiring a friend, they can feel undeserving and, ultimately, resentful. Instead, it’s better to hire an enemy, as your motives are up front and are not clouded with personal feeling.
Law 11. Learn to Keep People Dependent on You
To maintain independence, you must make others need and want you. The more people rely on you, the more freedom you have. Yet, be wary to never teach those surrounding you with enough information that they can start doing things for themselves. This method is the best way to get people to do what you want without forcing them or inflicting pain on them. Once you have dependents, they are reliant on you, and you can subtly do with them as you wish.
Law 12. Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm Your Victim
A single honest gesture can help cover the traces of dozens of dishonest acts. By being generous, you can disarm even the most suspicious people. Once they are disarmed, you can manipulate them at will. The key to successful deception is distraction. An act of generosity distracts those you wish to deceive while turning them into docile children, delighted by the affectionate gesture.
44. Disarm and Infuriate With the Mirror Effect
By mirroring your opponents and doing exactly as they do, you humiliate them and cause them to overreact. By making them believe you share their values, they find it challenging to work out your strategy, as they are blinded by your mirror. You are also able to teach your opponents a lesson by giving them a taste of their own medicine.
Learning to give before you take is a skilled way of getting what you want. Selective honesty also functions as a means to disarm your opponents. However, regaling a single truth will not be enough. You’ll have to construct a facade of honesty built upon a series of acts to gain trust, but these acts can be quite inconsequential.
And as always if you have any inquiries or just need to reach out to someone @lostinmymind14_Bot use it✌🏼
- R
#toxic_people
#48_laws_of_power
@lostinmymind14
I may or may not elaborate further on them. ENJOY!!!
Law 2. Never Put Too Much Trust in Friends, Learn How to Use Enemies
Friends are more likely to betray you in haste as they are more prone to envy. However, if you hire a former enemy, they will prove themselves more trustworthy, as they have more to prove. Consequently, you have more to fear from friends than your enemies.
Often, you think you know your friends better than you do. This is because honesty rarely strengthens bonds, so friends frequently hide their true feelings about each other. As people want to feel they deserved their good fortune in hiring a friend, they can feel undeserving and, ultimately, resentful. Instead, it’s better to hire an enemy, as your motives are up front and are not clouded with personal feeling.
Law 11. Learn to Keep People Dependent on You
To maintain independence, you must make others need and want you. The more people rely on you, the more freedom you have. Yet, be wary to never teach those surrounding you with enough information that they can start doing things for themselves. This method is the best way to get people to do what you want without forcing them or inflicting pain on them. Once you have dependents, they are reliant on you, and you can subtly do with them as you wish.
Law 12. Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm Your Victim
A single honest gesture can help cover the traces of dozens of dishonest acts. By being generous, you can disarm even the most suspicious people. Once they are disarmed, you can manipulate them at will. The key to successful deception is distraction. An act of generosity distracts those you wish to deceive while turning them into docile children, delighted by the affectionate gesture.
44. Disarm and Infuriate With the Mirror Effect
By mirroring your opponents and doing exactly as they do, you humiliate them and cause them to overreact. By making them believe you share their values, they find it challenging to work out your strategy, as they are blinded by your mirror. You are also able to teach your opponents a lesson by giving them a taste of their own medicine.
Learning to give before you take is a skilled way of getting what you want. Selective honesty also functions as a means to disarm your opponents. However, regaling a single truth will not be enough. You’ll have to construct a facade of honesty built upon a series of acts to gain trust, but these acts can be quite inconsequential.
And as always if you have any inquiries or just need to reach out to someone @lostinmymind14_Bot use it✌🏼
- R
#toxic_people
#48_laws_of_power
@lostinmymind14
ohh, and for anyone interested in a more deeper dive. This is the cover and the pdf.
For my Ethiopian audience the book is available in bulk around megenagna and mexico with street vendors. Only for 350, best money you'll ever spend!
For my Ethiopian audience the book is available in bulk around megenagna and mexico with street vendors. Only for 350, best money you'll ever spend!
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